Pauline Phillips

Pauline married Morton Phillips, on July 2, 1939, in a double-wedding that included her sister Esther’s nuptials with Jules Lederer. They were two days short of their 22nd birthday. She had met Morton, a salesman, at a dance at the University of Minnesota.

They had two children, Edward Jay Phillips and Jeanne Phillips. She prioritized her family before everything else and believed in the permanence of marriage despite odds. Edward died in 2011 at the age of 66. Jeanne continued her mother’s legacy by contributing to her advice column.

Even after her retirement, she continued to volunteer at old age homes, the American Society for AIDS Research (AmFar), and the Jewish National Fund.

Pauline Phillips was born Pauline Esther Friedman on July 4, 1918, in Sioux City, Iowa. Her parents, Rebecca Rushall and Abraham B. Friedman, were Russian immigrants who came to the USA in 1908. Her mother was a homemaker and her father was the proprietor of a movie theatre.

Pauline had three siblings—all sisters—and she was the youngest of them. Her identical twin, Esther was older by 17 minutes. Her elder siblings were Helen and Dorothy.

Both Esther and Pauline credit their parents with having a strong influence on their careers. Pauline attributed her ability to listen and help other people to her mother and her sense of humour to her father.

She attended Central High School and Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa. Her subjects of interest were journalism and psychology. At Morningside, she and Esther, known as the “Friedman twins”, wrote for the “Collegian Reporter”, the school’s newspaper.

Pauline Phillips began her career in 1955 as advice columnist for ‘The Chicago Times’. She used to give responses to the readers for the “Ask Landers” column, which was handled by her twin sister Esther.

Soon Puline was able to carve an identity for herself when in 1956 she started working as advice columnist for the ‘San Francisco Chronicle’. There is an interesting story behind how she got hired. She wrote a letter to editor Stanleigh "Auk" Arnold stating she could write a better column than what was being published currently. He sent her a few letters in need of answers and she replied within an hour and a half. Auk described her writing as ‘fabulous’ and hired her the very same day.

Pauline’s column called “Dear Abby”, debuted, in the San Francisco Chronicle on January 9, 1956 and became an instant hit. Her personal touch and quirky one-liners in replies were highly popular with readers. Everything from family issues to lovesickness to health was covered by her column. Her readership included people from all walks, faiths, and statuses. Thus, she and her sister initially received over 9000 letters in a single week for advice.

Many letters, covering topics considered sensitive or taboo for that time, such as, divorce, homosexuality, sexual abhorrence, pro-choice, and domestic violence were not published, but she took it upon her to respond to them personally. She would even call the reader and give advice if she felt they were suicidal or hopeless.

Some of the letters required a thorough research and in order to reply to them Pauline used to consult experts in fields like medicine and law. Once she visited a Gamblers Anonymous meeting in New Jersey and another time, a Masters and Johnson clinic in St. Louis in disguise to properly understand the problem before she meted out advice.

Apart from her column, Pauline Phillips hosted a radio adaptation of “Dear Abby” called “The Dear Abby Show” on CBS Radio. It was just as successful as her writings and ran from 1963 to 1975.

She authored many books that included the choicest advice from her columns. Many went on to become best-sellers such as ‘Dear Abby’ (1958) and ‘The Best of Dear Abby’ (1981).