Anthony De Mello

Anthony de Mello was born on 4 September 1931 in the outskirts Mumbai, at that time known as Bombay, into a Catholic family. His father, Frank de Mello, a native of Goa, was a railway worker. His mother was Louisa (née Castellino) de Mello. He was the eldest of his parents’ five children.

Lovingly called Tony by his friends and family, Anthony was the eldest son of his parents. Therefore, it was expected that like his father, he would join the Indian Railways and earn enough to look after the family.

However, from his childhood, Tony was spiritually inclined and wanted to become a Jesuit priest. He was greatly attracted to the order because of the disciple inherent in the system.

When the time came, Tony was admitted to Stanislaus High School. He was an intelligent boy and showed great social skills at school. However, his desire to join the Jesuit order did not diminish in any way.

At the same time, he was aware of his responsibilities as the eldest and only son of the family and was greatly troubled by it. He told his mother that he would pray to God so that He gives her another son because that would allow Tony to pursue his goal with a clear mind.

Anthony De Mello quickly adjusted to the way of life at the seminary. He had an excellent memory and read extensively. He also practiced meditation and contemplation as mentioned in ‘Spiritual Guidance’, a book of instructions compiled by St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit order.

In the beginning, he was rather dogmatic in his theological beliefs and refused to explore other religions with open heart. He held the Catholic faith to be sacrosanct.

One day when one of his sisters came visiting him, he told her, “Our Mother Church is just and you are guilty. You must not doubt that and don’t forget that the Pope is infallible.” It is not known why he made such a strong statement, but it shows how much he respected his faith.

In 1952, De Mello was sent to study philosophy in Barcelona, Spain. He remained there for three years and mastered Spanish and also Ciceronian Latin. It may not be out of place to add that, while his mother tongue was English, he also knew French, Marathi and few other languages.

It is believed that during his tertianship in Spain, while attending a 30-day retreat under Fr. Calveras, S.J., a world famous authority in conducting the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, he had a very powerful mystical experience. It gave him profound insight into the spirituality of St. Ignatius.

On his return to India, he was given various responsibilities, which he carried out with utmost sincerity. At the same time, he followed his faith with all devotion, going through the rituals with utmost dedication. Finally in March 1961, de Mello was ordained into priesthood.

Thereafter, he was sent to study psychology and counseling at Loyola University in Chicago. He received his Master's degree in pastoral counseling from there in 1964. During this time, the works of Carl Rogers and Fritz Perls, both of who were noted psychologists, influenced him most.

Thereafter, De Mello returned to India and started working at Jesuit seminaries. He was soon given the responsibility of guiding the Jesuit novitiate during their mandatory 30-day retreat in silence. Later he was made a retreat director.

Over the years, he found that the novitiates could not take the advantage of retreat because they were mostly locked up with their inherent psychological problems. Therefore, he started counseling them, an approach not yet in practice in Jesuit circles.

Later in 1972, De Mello established the Institute of Pastoral Counselling at De Nobili College, Poona, India. It was later shifted to other premises and has now been renamed as Sadhana Pastoral Counselling. The retreats he began to hold soon became very popular and were attended by many spiritual seekers.